I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
