is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
