I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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