Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
