but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
