I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
