Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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