yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize