dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
