If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Randomize
