He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just found a bag of teeth...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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