The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
