it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize