he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
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