Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
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