Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
