what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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