you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
