You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
