im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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