she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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