She went from zero to smokin in five shots
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
