He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I can text with my tongue
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
