we have officially lost it.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
