you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
