How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
