Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
