Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
