Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize