i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
