kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Fuck appropriateness.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize