all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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