If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
