Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
