Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
