Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
