he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
