Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
