are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
