Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize