This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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