NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
