Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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