you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
