Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
