the day after is always just damage control
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
