is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think my fart just growled at me.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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