Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm at about main and main street
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
