so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you would pick up someone in the library
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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