What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
