So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
