we have pet lesbian snakes
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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