two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
