I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
