soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize