He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
