dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
