i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The beer is more important than you right now.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
