will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
