she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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