why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you win again, gameday.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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