this just has baby written all over it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
