We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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