didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
