bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
