white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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